Self Doubt and Hormones- The only cocktail I was drinking.
Updated: Sep 2, 2018
I'm pregnant. Finally, I'm pregnant! Holy shit, I'm pregnant with my third child?! I'm pregnant with excitement, fear, doubt, worry, dread, exhaustion, more fear. I'm in a constant shit mood which leads to feelings of guilt. I love my family, but I just want to be alone. I want to puke alone and sleep without being disturbed for hours on end. But I'm a mother first and foremost so I have to put on my big girl panties and get through the next 9 months. All with a fucking smile.
Maria the Wanted was shaping up as a novella. It needed so much work. By a chance meeting a few months back, I was introduced to a woman that also happened to be a literary agent. I reached out for feedback. She gave me excellent advice. Advice I heeded, but didn't really understand until I got it in my mind that I would have a go in the publishing world.
I went from 30k to 90k words writing everyday while my children were in school. I went over and over and over my manuscript. My entire focus was this manuscript. I was starting to feel mildly better into my second trimester. Come on agents, I'm here!!
There wasn't anything out there in the adult horror/fantasy book world too similar to my main character, so how hard could it be. Folks, always do your homework. I always loved reading, but homework not so much. The publishing game is no joke. If I could give one piece of advice for writers, it's put your business hat on first. Spend just as much time on the business of books as you would your story.